I ran the San Francisco Marathon!

Three days ago, I ran the San Francisco Marathon and I still feel at a loss for words to adequately describe the experience… it was absolutely physically demanding yet so intensely gratifying that I wouldn’t have stopped for anything. 

In the days since, I’ve been recovering (pretty sore legs, some really unattractive feet and one rubbed raw spot but not as bad as I thought it would be) and lamenting the fact that this part of my journey has come to a close. This has been such an amazing adventure and I’m finding it difficult to believe that it is over and am alternating between basking in the glory and mourning its end... probably the reason I've struggled with writing this final post for the last few days... it's either that or the slight hangover I got from my post-race celebrations (you can't expect me to change THAT much!).

 

So here it is, the pièce de résistance to what came to be from the mother of all birthday hangovers, a traffic detour, a desperate need for change and a proclamation which had me step a million miles outside of my comfort zone, face a lifetime of self-doubt and insecurities and chose differently than before.  I chose to run a marathon and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.   The sacrifices of time spent with others, events missed due to early and long runs, the bodily harm (who needs toenails or kneecaps anyways) and the investment in anything and everything related to running (ever see the part in that movie Tin Cup where Rene Russo's character has all of the equipment strapped to her to help her learn how to golf?... picture that but for running)... it was consuming of time and energy but it was so worth it. The decision to try, the commitment by me and to me, the time invested, the pushing of physical limits, the emotional growth, the hard parts, the easy parts and everything in-between was more than worth it.

Thanks to the months and months of hard work and preparation, I did really well physically.  I tried to keep an eye on my pace and stayed fairly consistent the entire time despite never being able to locate the pacer in my wave.  I definitely went a bit slower than I anticipated… moving through some packs of runners, dodging walkers (people, please move to the right vs. stopping without warning in the middle!!), walking through most of the water stations and taking two very quick stops to stretch definitely slowed me down some but I just kept reminding myself to run my own race and stayed as steady as I could.   Considering that I was able to keep my breathing from becoming too labored and that I got through 18 miles before I really even realized that I was that far along, I think the pace was probably just right for me!

While I did start to notice the distance at mile 18, it wasn’t until mile 23 that things started to hurt.  My hip (which had been making its presence known the entire time) really ramped up the complaint level right around then and my foot/toes decided to join in right about that same time.  My knees didn’t want to feel left out so they also added their two cents right around the same mileage by expressing dissatisfaction with downhills (I was in awe of the people who went tearing down all the steep hills but more than that, I was incredibly thankful for the scary hill on my regular training route that helped me be able to run up every single hill on the course without faltering the least!).  Miles 23- 26.2 were incredibly difficult physically… I was tired but not to the point of feeling like I was hitting a wall and I still felt pretty good cardio-wise but every part of my legs and core really started to hurt.  When my body started to falter, I stuck with my plan and ran with my head (I figured since nothing had fallen off, it was safe to ignore all my angry pieces and parts) and kept going one stride at a time until I made my way across the finish line smiling, fighting back tears of gratitude, pride and relief... and still running.

And, thanks to some different yet just as important hard work and preparation, I fared just as well mentally.  The last inklings of self-doubt and nerves were gone by race morning (poor Sporty bore the brunt of the last of my panic when I became overwhelmed with the reality of what I was about to do when picking up my packet at the expo on Saturday!).  I reminded myself to stay relaxed and in the moment and soaked up as much of the experience as I could while doing my best to savor every quintessential San Francisco moment of the marathon. I choked back tears a few times from seeing my loved ones cheering me on, from remembering those who are no longer with us and by the experience itself.  I laughed at silly signs, smiled when I ran past where Sporty and I first met, acted as tour guide from time to time for out of town runners and listened to songs about my treasured city as I made my way across the Golden Gate. It was exceptionally exhilarating and I felt strong, confidant and profoundly alive.  I was totally, completely, blissfully happy.

So, if it sounds to you like I did pretty well, you will not even believe the amazing job that Sporty and Bendy did cheering me on throughout… they managed to make their way through marathon detours and other city craziness to find me not once, not twice but SEVEN times!! They had on their “team” shirts, had made huge signs, were cheering their faces off and even had an emergency bag with water, gels, lip stuff, etc. in case I needed anything. It was unbelievable and invaluable… they seriously were/are outstanding!!  I also had help along the way from some of my other incredibly wonderful friends who cheered me on from various spots on the route with great signs and words of encouragement... everyone was so amazing!  One particularly cheerful, active and inspiring friend (she is absolutely one of the most sincerely sweet and positive people I have ever known) was even strategically located near that very difficult mile 25 marker and acted as my own personal coach by hopping in and running with me for a bit while distracting me with stories about baseball, bars, police officers and anything else she could think of until the finish line was in sight... it was a much needed and appreciated boost that helped me press on and run every last step of the way.

After the marathon, we made our way to the hotel terrace overlooking the Ferry Building and festivities below and had ourselves a very good time… the sun was shining, the champagne was chilled, I was still standing (and being stretched out by Bendy as you can see in the photo... so spoiled by having a BFF who is, among many other amazing things, a certified yoga instructor), my Dynamic Duo were by my side and I was surrounded by good friends.  Everyone was so magnificent and I am completely and utterly speechless over the incredible love and support I received from all of my friends, family and loved ones before, during and after the marathon… it was tremendous and remarkable and something I will never, ever forget.

Running 26.2 miles through the streets of San Francisco was by far the most physically demanding thing I’ve ever done and it was also by far one of the most rewarding experiences of my entire life. As I've said before, running and this entire process has changed me... I'm stronger in every sense of the word and who I am today is not in spite of me but because of me.  It was “worth the hurt” and it was worth every single step of the journey.

In the final days leading up to the marathon I assured myself and everyone else that this was my one and only full marathon. I was tired and strapped for time and resources for anything other than running and my body felt like it was breaking down and about to launch a full blown revolution against itself. I was resolved in my thinking that only crazy people run 26.2 miles at one time.  As the days since the marathon have passed, I am still certain that only crazy people run 26.2 miles all at one time and I am also certain that my pieces and parts are not predisposed to go that distance.  But as the soreness and fatigue begin to fade into a distant memory (well,more like a less acute memory but still fading nonetheless), there is a little void being left in the wake that has me asking "what if" and wondering "what next".          So until we meet again...

26.2miles, 4hrs 58min 6sec

Cheers,

SF runner  

Here we go...

The plans for the next couple of days are coming together quite nicely and I'm beginning to get super excited for Sunday! Bendy and The Texan (Bendy’s sweetie) arrived in town last night and even though Sporty and I live in the city, our hood is on the opposite side from race central so Sporty, Bendy, The Texan and I will be staying at a lovely hotel located about a block away from the start/finish the night before as well as the night of the marathon.  Should there be a need for reinforcements getting me back to the hotel after the race, The Texan will come in quite handy as anyone who used to ride bulls should be able to carry me a few blocks!  

I’m trying to lay low today while focusing on hydration, nutrition (hooray for carbs!), gentle stretching/rolling and motivation…. I’ve got my collages, an amazing inspiration board that Sporty had friends and family contribute to (amazing, right?!) and am obsessively reading some great blogs and watching awesome videos to add to my motivation (I included my favorite video at the end of this paragraph but don't forget to come back and read the rest of this post after you watch it!). I'm also trying to maintain a firm grip on my inner bad ass as I believe there is definitely a need for some attitude to tackle 26.2 miles and I'm doing everything I can to ensure that my confidence stays firmly in place. 

Tomorrow we’ll swing by the Expo to pick up my bib and race shirt and peruse the booths but then it’s off to the hotel for some feet up lounging for the remainder of the day (the same exact thing that is planned for post-race because as you can tell from the photo, the terraces at the hotel are too lovely to pass on... add some wine, food and ice packs and I'll stay put until Monday! 

Everything I need for race day is set... I’ve got my not perfect but will have to do shoes, the right socks, running attire and instant ice packs, flip flops and super cozy for afterwards lounging outfit.  All of my magical items are ready to go… a variety of anti-chaffing items (no bleeding body parts for me!!), Aveda SPF lip stuff that stays on longer than seems possible, iPod full of songs that Sporty had our friends and family send as inspiration (I know, amazing again!),  gummy energy thingies, cool GPS Nike watch, super sporty sunscreen that has to be scrubbed off (not as festive as the coconut one but does a better job protecting so it got bumped up in the rotation) and tape for as many of my pieces and parts as it will stick to. Most importantly, I've got my Dynamic Duo who will be by my side just as they have been throughout this entire process... they have helped get me to where I am and will be cheering me on along the way on Sunday (and in killer "team" shirts that Sporty designed no less!) and for all of that and so much more, I am eternally grateful.

On race morning I’ll be up bright and early (if I ever even get to sleep!) and will be out warming up (a.k.a.  anxiously pacing while becoming one with my aforementioned inner bad ass) well before my wave starts at 6:22AM.  I’m planning on starting out with the pace group in my wave which will be running close to the average of my long training runs at 10:52/mile (my 20 mile run ended up averaging 10:55 and included walking hydration breaks and a handful of shoe adjustment stops).  I plan on walking through most of the water stations (usually results in about 5 - 10 steps of walking) and hope to avoid any equipment malfunctions by making sure I’ve re-situated my socks and retied my shoes at least 5 times (hoping that will reduce or eliminate the need for on the go adjustments!). 

The rest of my strategy is to break it down into sections and remind myself to run with my head when my body starts to get pissed, with my heart when my head starts to get in the way and with my body when the other parts have left the building.  I will get up the hills with a slow and steady pace and be light on my feet and land as gently as possible coming down them, I will keep an eye on my form and check in on it when something starts to hurt, I will watch for hazards but will also remember to look around at my beloved city. Most importantly, I will remind myself to enjoy the grand finale of this incredible journey.  

The day after tomorrow I will run the San Francisco Marathon.  I am ready.  

Cheers,

SF runner in training

506 miles...

Despite Dr. Oz’s predictions, I didn’t wake up overweight, wrinkled or hormonally imbalanced on my first day as a 40 year old and I had an amazing birthday yesterday that was filled with so much love, laughter and thoughtfulness… I am so incredibly lucky and blessed!!  It is slightly possible that I celebrated a tad too much… not like the incident that started this whole thing on my 38th birthday, but just enough wine to turn me into a rather impassioned wannabe philosophizer who should probably not have had unsupervised  access to Facebook.  

So with a bit of a wine head and still overflowing with delight and gratitude for my wonderful birthday, I headed out for my final training run. I was  pretty sentimental during the run today… it felt as if the 4 miles went by so quickly and I wanted to keep going despite the nagging discomfort in my hip (given the choice between the hip and the toes/feet, I’ll take the hip as it’s easier to run through).  It’s been such an incredible journey and it was emotional to have this part of it come to an end.

As of today, I have run 506 miles over the past 7 months.  I have run through physical discomfort and pain, I have run up and down hills, I have run in countless pairs of running shoes, I have run in sunshine, rain and endless fog, I have passed runners and been passed by runners, I have run through and directly in to packs of biking tourists, I have run through laughter and tears, I have run through fear and doubt.  I have kept running even when my head told me I couldn’t and when my body begged me to stop.   

In 4 short days, I will run further than I ever have and I want to relish in every single joyful, demanding, painful, invigorating and meaningful moment… I cannot believe it’s almost here! 

4 miles, 38min 33sec, avg 9:37

Cheers,

SF runner in training

26.2 miles is too far to run with baggage...

Tomorrow I turn 40 and while there are a few things that make me pause for thought about this birthday, all-in-all I’m very much looking forward to it (this despite inadvertently watching a portion of the Dr. Oz show that was horrifyingly titled “Being Fab After 40” and during which the "doctor" informed me that as of tomorrow, I will be extremely overweight, constantly exhausted, covered in thin, veiny, dry, wrinkly skin and will most certainly be hormonally out of whack to the point of being irreversibly emotionally damaged… what a tool. So even though I'm apparently not supposed to, I feel better in every aspect of my life now than I ever have.  As my dad so lovingly put it during our outing earlier this week, “you’re younger now than you have been in years and there is no such thing as supposed to".  Instead of disagreeing and investing tons of energy informing him of all the ways that I'm old and am making all of the wrong choices in life, I said I agreed and I meant it. 

So, maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s all of this internet therapy (a.k.a. blogging) or maybe it’s all the time I’ve had with just me and my thoughts while running mile after mile after mile over the past 7 months but whatever the reason, I’ve been able to face some longstanding demons head on… 

I have forgiven myself and others, I have banished regret and I have let go.  Life is too short to live with remorse and 26.2 miles is too far to run with all that baggage.

I would like to think that I would have gotten to this space regardless of whether or not I had decided to run this marathon but quite honestly, I’m not certain I would have gotten to this point as early on as now without it.  The experience of training for the marathon has changed me… Running changed me in every possible way and I like what I see inside and out.

Enough of the heavy stuff… If I keep going on like that I’ll have to find a couch to lay down on and start paying you all by the hour! This morning’s 5 miles on yet another stunning SF morning (I know, I sound like a broken record but this place is amazing and it has the cost of living to prove it) were easy and went by quickly.  The toes are feeling better than they have in a long time, the knees have a serious crush on the magic tape, the foot thing seems to have subsided some and the weird hip thing seems to be holding at discomfort vs. actual pain so I’d say things are continuing to come together as best they can.  I’ve got one more training run of 4 miles and then it’s nothing but stretching, rolling, resting and eating (carb loading... it's like a dream come true!).

5 miles, 47min 57sec, avg 9:34

Cheers,

SF runner in training

Me and my shadow.

My support system throughout this entire process has been and continues to be more than I could have possibly imagined… my mom and dad, my Dynamic Duo, my extended family, friends, acquaintances,  informative running store employees, the nice sales people in Lululemon who assured me that not only would I finish but that I would look good while doing it (granted, I was picking out a race day shirt but I like to think it had nothing to do with commissions or sales quotas), random strangers such as the person who picked up my dropped money in the Starbucks when I couldn’t make my knees work to squat and retrieve it after a long run, etc.  Needless to say, everyone has been amazing and I’m brought to tears (the happy kind, not the rolling my ITB out on the foam roller kind) when thinking about how incredibly lucky I am. It really has taken a village (don’t think you’re all off the hook after this thing though… I need my village for daily living as well!).

The thing about running this marathon though is that while my support system has been invaluable in more ways than I can count and I would be completely and utterly lost without them (in all aspects of life really), at the end of the day it’s just me…. I have to run the marathon... nobody can run the race for me... it's just me and my shadow. Clearly, I’ve known all along that eventually I would have to run 26.2 miles (although secretly I’ve fantasized about Sporty pushing me down the course on roller skates while Bendy does back bends and other gumby-ish moves alongside) but it’s taken me a while to give myself credit for what I’ve accomplished to date and what I’m about to take on.  I’m working hard in these final days to push through the remaining emotional clutter and get to a place of settled confidence for the marathon as well as turning 40. Both things are so momentous and I want to be fully present and not dilute either occasion with doubt or other sorts of wasteful self-sabotage.  

Speaking of turning 40, I’ve been doing a good job at stretching out this year’s birthday celebrations… My mom was with me for the very fun and celebratory  hair/beauty/shopping/sidewalk café day earlier this week  and today I had a pre-birthday lunch with my dad at Sam’s (not the one in Tiburon that I raved about in a previous post.. going to that one on my actual birthday, this Sam’s is just north of Half Moon Bay and is delightful in just as many ways). It was a gorgeous afternoon as you can see by my lovely beverage photo (I’m still working on the tapering of wine part... much easier to taper miles on some days) and I had such a good time! 

I ran 6 miles today on a beautiful San Francisco morning.  The worst of my aches and pains are resolving themselves and I’m regaining some of the energy that the fatigue of so many miles has brought on.  I have 9 days and 9 miles left in my training and 4 days until I turn 40...I’m sure there is some sort of numerology meaning in all those numbers but I think I’ll just take it as a sign of good things to come.

6miles, 57min 37sec, avg 9:36 (like the wind again!! this new hair is killing it!)

Cheers,

SF runner in training